Our Story

Lake Arrowhead - 1998

Our story shares the journey of Kimberly Kyle Ferrell, a woman, wife, and mother, battling Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease, clinging to every last fabric of self and holding on to every last moment of life with her family. It is the story of a husband desperately trying to care for his wife, as she bravely journeys down the one-way path of a terminal disease.

It is the story of a father trying to protect and guide his young children as they witness their mom disappearing, right before their very eyes. It is the story of two amazingly strong young children, who had a front-row seat to a story they could never have imagined, nor ever wanted to see.

I envisioned what the end of her life would be like. We sat around her bed, our children, Collin and Shannon each holding one of their mom’s hands, and then my hand, creating a circle of life, a circle that would soon be broken. A circle that would endure a deep loss. It had been a long journey for my wife Kim, me, and our kids. Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease had taken its toll, slowly ravaging her brain, during the seven-year average life span it offers its victims. Collin and Shannon were just eight and four years old at the beginning of the seven months of testing it took to confirm Kim’s disease. Kim and I were in the prime of our lives. Doctors, psychiatrists, and counselors all agreed on one thing...they had never seen anyone, or any family with kids as young as ours, go through what we had been going through.

December 30, 1998 - I sat at a bar drinking a beer and talking with the bartender, Jeremiah. Jeremiah had become one of my best friends. We grew up in neighboring towns on Long Island and knew some of the same people, but we never met until we were both working at the China Club in Los Angeles, in April of 1992.

I sat alone, contemplating a big decision. I told Jeremiah that I was going to ask my girlfriend Kim to marry me. "Really?" he asked. He poured me a shot of Cuervo Gold and then moved on to serve another customer. I downed the shot. When Jeremiah returned, I explained that my friend Matt had hooked me up with his jeweler at the downtown Los Angeles Jewelry Mart. I told Jeremiah I was going to go down there in the morning and pick out a diamond. If the jeweler could set it on a ring by end of the day, I was going to propose to Kim that night, New Year’s Eve.

Jeremiah poured me another shot of Gold and asked, "so you really think she is the one?" I smiled and nodded as I drank the shot. A few minutes later, Jeremiah asked again, "so are you sure? Do you think Kimmy is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? " As he poured yet another shot, I said, "Jeremiah, are you trying to get me drunk so I screw this up?" "No" he smiled, "just want to make sure my buddy is sure that Kimmy is the right one!" She's a beautiful girl! I'm happy for you both! This time he raised his own shot glass and toasted..." to you and Kimmy!". We slammed the shots. Then, for some reason, I blurted out, "I know sitting here at this moment that she's the right one. But I don't think it's gonna last forever." "Why" Jeremiah questioned. "Don't know. Just a feeling" I answered.

The Merriam - Webster dictionary defines the word "precognition" as:

: clairvoyance relating to an event or state not yet experienced.

I never thought about that conversation with Jeremiah again, until years later…in the summer of 2011.

People say it never happens. A guy and a girl meet in a bar in Los Angeles and make the relationship work. Neither of us had any "baggage" to speak of. No ex-wives or ex-husbands, no kids, no "abusive" ex-boyfriends or "psycho" ex-girlfriends. Well, at least none that had come forward.

Kimberly Anne Kyle and I met at the "Fox and Hounds", a small English pub in Studio City, CA. Those who knew us took pleasure in exclaiming that Kim was the Fox, and I was the Hound! I don't think I could argue with that!

Kim once told me that she knew I was "the one" for her because she felt I would always be there to take care of her!

I once told Kim that I knew she was "the one" for me because though she was very independent, she allowed me to take care of her.

Little did we know how profound those words, "take care of" would become.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "Fate" as:

1. the will or principle or determining cause by which things, in general, are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do.

Kim and I found each other during the month of June 1998. Our first official date was watching the final episode of Seinfeld, at a bar called Residuals in Studio, City. As the evening ended, I walked Kim to her car and we started kissing in the rain. Referring to the rain, I joked, "tears of all the Seinfeld fans." "Maybe" she cooed, then, "for others, they could be tears of joy!" She did not need to say another word. Our eyes met and there was a deep connection, a soulful connection. It was the first time we truly held each other close. Our bodies became one as we created our own ritual courting dance...our senses were aware of every little touch. As we kissed, drops of rain, as if by fate and design, slowly slid down our cheeks, finding their way to our mouths, and lubricating our lips. Together we tasted the sweetness of fate's love.

This potion of nature bonded us, like Romeo and Juliet. At that moment, I knew our hearts were joined forever.

Fate had found us. The rain cleansed us both of all our past heartbreaks, sorrow, and pain. You might say we were joined at the lip. Sorry, couldn't resist that one!

Our Wedding - October 16, 1999

Kim and I were excited about our new adventure together. We got married on October 16, 1999.

We honeymooned during the millennium and watched the world change from the 1900's to the 2000s alongside the Sydney Harbor Bridge and the Sydney Opera House. Our twenty-day honeymoon to Australia, New Zealand, and Tahiti, was as awesome as it sounds.

We explored Australia's Red Centre and its infamous Ayers Rock, known by the natives as "Uluru". We hiked through the Daintree Rainforest along the northeast coast of Queensland. We 'drift-dived' with giant sea turtles off the coast of Bundaberg. The Great Barrier reef was our playground for four days and twelve dives from the deck of the NIMROD III.

In New Zealand, Kim and I floated through volcanic lava tubes, relaxing in natural hot springs, and sheared sheep on a farm. Our honeymoon of a lifetime ended in Tahiti where we dove with giant manta rays in Bora Bora, and sharks in Moorea.

As we relaxed in an over-the-water bungalow, in one of the most romantic places on earth, Kim and I felt like we were living the dream, like we were in our own romantic Hollywood movie. For those 20 days, we had it all..." just like Bogey and Bacall!"

…and we met Flipper!

Our son Collin was born on October 15, 2002. Our daughter Shannon arrived as a "preemie" on June 12, 2007. As we approached the end of 2007, our dreams continued to come true. Two cars, two kids, two cats, and a dog. Oh yeah, and a couple of Japanese Fighting Fish! (Separate bowls of course) Our house was nestled into a cul-de-sac in a small corner of North Hollywood, literally a stone's throw from Toluca Lake. That stone's throw was worth about $150,000 in property value.

There's a saying..." honeymoons don't last forever." But for us, 2000 through 2008 seemed like one big honeymoon. We built our family, we developed a small property management company by way of acquiring six properties, and our future as a family looked strong, secure, and bright.

2008 through 2009 were quite different, however. The real estate and housing market crash took its toll on our properties. Home values dropped. Loans that were taken on one property in order to facilitate buying another property, created challenges that were hard to manage. Many were hurt by the real estate crisis, including us. I supplemented an acting career by owning a property inspection business and it struggled as a result of the real estate downturn. I was also a licensed contractor and did home improvements and remodeling. That business suffered as well. Then mortgage company Kim worked for folded. With that, she decided to be a stay-at-home Mom for our daughter as it would be the last opportunity for her to have that wonderful motherly experience.

Stress from our financial woes grew in 2010. I was stressed managing all of our rental properties and not having enough time to make money in other areas. Kim was also stressed about our financials. The small amount of passive income we had been building was gone. I told Kim I needed help. I asked her to consider going back to work, even if just part-time. We were in very rough seas, financially. Communication, which was always one of our strengths, had become difficult. Tension increased and our marriage was truly on the rocks. We went to marriage counseling, but Kim was having trouble comprehending the thoughts and tasks the therapist was giving to us. Ultimately, Kim decided to stop participating in the sessions. I was getting deeply concerned about the state of our marriage and what was in store for our family.

SOMETHING IS WRONG

I remember it all so clearly. Kim had walked up to me in our family room. She said, "Hey, where's that...umm...that...thing...ahh...the...the…you know...that...um...Collin?"

I stopped what I was doing and turned to her saying, "Do you want to buy a vowel or phone a friend...because I have no idea what you just said!" In that nano-second of time between my response, and noticing Kim's troubled blank stare, I realized that I had been hearing her struggle with words for a while. It just had not hit me until that moment.

"Kim, do you realize that you are having trouble finding words," I asked. "Yes", she said, "and I have been having trouble writing in cursive and balancing my checkbook, and other things". The floodgates opened and Kim shared with me all the things she was having trouble with. I could tell that she was relieved to share this with me. I could also tell that she was pissed off that something was happening to her, something she could not understand.

Even now, as I write this, it’s easy for me to re-live that moment, it was a moment when everything in my world quickly grinded to a complete stop. Then silence...a silence, unlike any other silence. Like in the movies, when the character goes into a slow blurry motion and all you hear is the sound of a heartbeat or breathing. Then, a slow slurry grind of noise speeds up as all about you start to re-engage until you are suddenly jolted back to the present.

As quickly as I felt the whole world stop, it started up again. Thoughts, questions, feelings, emotions...I felt a force, and energy racing inside my head. I could feel and visualize the electrons going a million miles an hour as they zipped around my brain and body. Ironically, it was those same electrons in Kim's brain that were slowing down, getting blocked, and hitting dead ends. I understood visually that whatever thoughts or feelings Kim was creating were struggling to be transformed into the words she wanted to say, those thoughts would ultimately fizzle out.

I looked into Kim's eyes, past the cataracts of angst, turmoil, and troubles we had been experiencing. I saw a little girl standing in a field of green, barefoot, wearing a white sundress, holding a stuffed animal, with eyes wide open. The expression on her face was one of innocence and confusion. She was scared and her eyes pleaded for help. Kim and I sat down and talked about what she was feeling and the other difficulties she was having. It was a hard conversation for Kim because she had always been really smart and quick with thought. She was a go-getter, a hard worker. Pick your cliché, she was all of them.

I cannot imagine what she was feeling at that time. What was going through her head? What thoughts she was processing? Now I was scared. What the hell was happening to my wife?

Our story is one of many levels, challenges, and struggles. Through this website and blog, a non-profit organization, and the book I am writing, we hope to continue telling our story in a way that will help other families dealing with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease and other forms of early onset dementia.

Every Year 350 thousand people worldwide are diagnosed with a form of early-onset dementia. See “The Disease” page of this website for more information on the forms of early onset dementia.

LovingKimmy.org

Loving Kimmy.org is the website for a non-profit 501c3 charitable organization launching in December 2022. Kimmy and I always wanted to find a way to not let her journey be in vain. We hope that sharing her life story and battle with Early Onset Alzheimer’s will help others and give a voice to the ever-increasing population of those inflicted with forms of early onset dementia.

Vision statement – Here at Loving Kimmy, our vision is to help families who have a loved one diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s and other forms of early onset dementia by providing resources, financial aid, and educational forums.