TROUBLE IN PARADISE – 2008 - 2009

Excepts from the Book

“"Loving Kimmy, Year After Year" is the title of the book I am writing. The book shares our story, the journey we have been on, and how it affected Kimmy, me, and our kids.

There's a saying..." honeymoons don't last forever." But for us, 2000 through 2008 seemed like one big honeymoon. We built our family, we developed a small property management company by way of acquiring six properties, and our future as a family looked strong, secure, and bright. The only hiccup was our daughter Shannon being born as a preemie, at just 3 pounds.

However, things started changing in 2008 and 2009. The real estate market crisis and sub-prime lending turmoil took their toll on our properties. Home values dropped, and loans that were taken on one property in order to facilitate buying another created challenges that were hard to manage. Many were hurt by the real estate market crash, including us. I owned a property inspection business and it struggled as a result of the downturn in sales. I was also a licensed contractor and did home improvements and remodeling. That business suffered as well. Then, the mortgage company Kim worked for was bought by Lehman Brothers, and then a short time later folded. With Shannon, only a year and a half old, Kim and I decided that she should be a stay-at-home Mom for our daughter as it would be the last opportunity for her to have that wonderful motherly experience.

Stress from our financial woes grew in 2009. I was stressed dealing with all of our rental properties and not having enough time to make money in other areas. Kim was also stressed about our financials. The small amount of passive income we had been building was gone. I told Kim I needed help. I asked her to consider going back to work, even if just part-time. We were in very rough seas, financially. Discussions over what we should do never came to a reasonable end. Kim started displaying real belligerence towards me and often, that would erupt into aggression on her part, sometimes right in front of our children, Collin and Shannon. Yes, she would lose control and start swinging at me, occasionally connecting before I could calm her down.

Coming from a divorced family, (all seven of us Ferrell kids were raised by our dad) I placed tremendous value in my wedding vows. That being said, I also placed tremendous value on my "God-given" responsibility to raise my kids in a safe and healthy environment. When the scales tipped towards protecting the kids, I had to take action.

In July of 2010, I had Kim served with divorce papers. I really did not want to get divorced, but all communication was gone from our marriage. I had truly hoped that my filing for divorce would be a warning shot across the bow, so to speak. I wanted Kim to fight for our marriage. I wanted her to go to marriage counseling and work at our commitment to each other and our kids. We started marriage counseling, but Kim had difficulty following the suggestions and advice of our counselor. Either that or she just refused to engage. Discussions turned into debates and debates into arguments. Arguments often resulted in Kim losing it, and swinging at me or trying to kick me. One incident led to her hitting me with a video camera and then smashing it to pieces on the floor. The police were called and after hearing what happened, and seeing my bleeding lip, well, they arrested Kim, right in our front yard! Luckily the kids were at school. I felt like we were in our own episode of "Desperate Housewives!" Ironically, I was in an episode of that show a year or so earlier.

By the summer of 2011, almost one year after I filed for divorce, Kim's behavior continued to swing from somewhat pleasant to belligerent. Occasionally, the waters would be calm enough to lead to some amazingly passionate and intimate times together. These sessions brought us back to the early days of our marriage when all seemed so wonderful and when all was good. Unfortunately, the emotional flashbacks to what we once had never lasted for long, nor did they possess the healing powers we so desperately needed. With our marriage seemingly failing and our financial world crumbling, I came to the decision that enough was enough. As much as I loved Kimmy, it was time to split up. It was not fair to the kids or me to be living in this type of environment and it wasn't fair to Kim either.

I asked my attorney to draw up papers to grant me full temporary custody of our kids and have Kim removed from the house. I was beyond sad. My family was falling apart. I had waited so long to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and now that person was being taken away from me. But by what? What was causing her to act this way? My wife was drifting away and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.